


I’m scared, so scared but when you’re near me I feel like I’m standing with an army

by Kaitdaises



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 16:23:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4712567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaitdaises/pseuds/Kaitdaises
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Gotcha. Have you been working out? That cheek felt a lot more toned than usual.” Harry muses and Niall knows is the thing, he knows Harry’s only teasing but a shiver still runs down his spine because Harry could feel his clenched arse from his dirty thoughts.</i>
</p><p> <i>“No money or time for that mate, I’m a student remember. Reckon I have our ridiculously cheap dorm building to thank for never getting ‘round to fixing the elevators.” Niall spills out and he’s very proud of his quick thinking. </i></p><p> <i>“Ah, the woes of going to university,” is what Harry says in reply, seemingly accepting of Niall’s excuse and acting none the wiser.  “At least we still get lukewarm beer and student discounts at Selfridges!”</i></p><p> </p><p>Niall didn’t think his first year of University would mean constantly shagging roommates, climbing endless flights of stairs, and falling in love. He just wanted to study English Lit, honest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I’m scared, so scared but when you’re near me I feel like I’m standing with an army

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sunshineflying](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineflying/gifts).



> Hiya! First and foremost, this is for you sunshineflying. I really, truly hope you enjoy it. All prompts were great, but I chose to write prompt one. Shout out to my wonderful beta [hairbraidharry](http://hairbraidharry.tumblr.com) for helping me out on such crazy late notice - You're an absolute gem girl and I owe you big time!
> 
> Also, uber thanks to [little-cather](http://little-cather.tumblr.com) for helping me grasp what life for an actual English Lit student is like.
> 
> Title is from Miley Cyrus’ song Adore You (yass one of my favs).
> 
> p.s. pls forgive my complete lack of knowledge regarding dorm rooms; they’re not a common thing where I live. Let’s all just pretend what I wrote is the norm, cheers!

Louis sucks. Liam sucks too. 

But Louis _really_ sucks, and Niall is sick of hearing it all the time.

Niall’s only meters away in their small sitting room, but he feels like he’s in the bedroom with them with how thin the walls are separating them. Niall didn’t mind the close quarters in the beginning. He was quite cosy in his little two room dorm, the sitting room furnished with their plasma screen TV, mini fridge that Liam’s mum got him as a moving out gift, and the ‘seen better days’ couch that he’s sitting on now. It was the only piece of furniture that came with the room when they first moved in a few months back, and he’s come to love it, come stains and all.

Niall didn’t mind that he had to share the bedroom either, two single beds squeezed into the even smaller space, along with a desk each. He never thought it too small or too intrusive. That was, until Liam met Louis and they started dating term 2. Niall sometimes thinks the walls are closing in on him now.

“Lads please! Studying the history of the English language is hard enough without having to block out the sounds of Liam having his soul sucked out of his dick.” Niall shouts over the moaning and grunts coming from the other room.

To make his point, Niall chucks a throw pillow against the bedroom wall. Liam and Louis have stayed shut in the bedroom ever since Niall got home from his 10am lecture, and he’s been somewhat fine with it. Watching a bit of telly and munching on a few (okay 2 family sized packets) of crisps to absentmindedly block out all the sex noises. But it’s one in the afternoon now, and Niall’s really got to get some studying done.

He doesn’t expect it to work, but everything goes quiet. He’s very pleased with himself, and is silently proud of his friends for finally showing some generosity just before he hears a thud that is followed by the sounds of Louis moaning loudly.

“Hope that’s better mate.” Louis pants out through the walls between his moans. Those cocky sons of bitches. Niall probably should’ve seen that coming. He’s had way too much experience with Louis’ twisted mind. A while back, he would’ve expected different from Liam, but he’s been dating Louis far too long for that to be the case anymore.

Niall huffs and gets up from the couch, turns to face the closed bedroom door and is well ready to give the lads a proper shouting at, admit Louis doesn’t even sound like a good fuck from what he’s heard, before he decides against it and sighs in defeat. That’ll just encourage Louis to be even louder.

Niall spends a few more minutes in his dorm, tries to buckle down and read a few chapters from his textbook. Potters around with getting a bottle of water from their mini fridge to stay hydrated and boost his focus. Even retrieves his headphones from his backpack, where he left it at the front door, to blast Foo Fighters in his ears and ignore Liam and Louis while he writes notes.

Niall does all this and he still can’t concentrate. Checking his watch on his wrist, Niall groans at realising how much time he’s wasted today and decides to just give up with his study; promises himself he’ll start fresh tomorrow. Meanwhile, he might as well spend some of the day enjoying himself.

Niall's shutting his front door and making his way down the dormitory halls to the elevator in two minutes. He chucked off his boots to change into some trainers, grabbed his sunnies and his copy of _Testament of Youth_ before heading out the door to finally be free of the shagging animals and their mating calls.

Niall is almost not angry about being forcibly removed from his own dorm room once he gets outside. The weather has really cleared up since this morning when he was walking back from class. He had felt a rather large rain drop fall on his cheek then, but now the cloudy skies have disappeared and the sun is shining (well as much as it can in the middle of London).

He’s pleasantly satisfied when he reaches the central campus park and finds a nice, warm spot to lie. It’s a huge park, goes on for miles. Niall makes it his mission to spend days reading here whenever he can, feels himself drifting off into the worlds of his books easier in the calming space. He’s got a good view of the water fountain from where he sits and likes the soothing noise of running water much better than Liam and Louis.

The sun is beating down on him so Niall slides down the sunglasses he placed on his head as he left the dorm buildings to protect his eyes. He feels so relaxed as he lays back on the soft grass and can read to his heart’s content; hovering his book over his face.

Time passes but he doesn’t know how long he’s been out here for. He decided to give up on reading and just dropped the book on his face a while ago as the sun was making him sleepy. He hasn’t gotten much rest lately, what with a constant flow of assignments, yearly exams approaching way too quickly, and the shag monsters constantly going at it whenever he tries to sleep. He thinks he’s had a total of five hours the past week.

Lying in the park, off to the side under a Mulberry tree and comforted by steady streams of water and sun rays, Niall feels the most relaxed he has in a while. All warm and fuzzy and he’s drifting away.

Suddenly he feels a little cold. His fuzziness is ripped away. He can feel a shadow creeping up his body and blocking his nice sun. Initially he assumes clouds are the reason, until a few seconds later he hears a slow, familiar voice.

“Hiya,” the voice drawls out.

Niall takes a moment to grasp his bearings, before he blinks open his eyes and lifts the paperback off of his face.

Looking up, Niall is suddenly hit with the same warm fuzziness he felt only moments earlier; sunshine beaming down on him again, only this time in the form of green eyes and a dimpled grin. Niall breathes in deep, appreciates the way Harry’s body is outlined by the sun he’s blocking from Niall and makes his tan body glow. He especially likes the way it shines through his unruly hair and gives him a halo effect.

“Hey mate.” Niall finally gets out, realising he might have been quietly staring too long and he internally kicks himself.

“What’cha doing?” Harry asks bending at his waist, hovering his upper half closer over Niall’s still laying body.

“Oh, just succumbing to my untimely fate of failing uni and having to live in Liam and Louis’ basement for the rest of my life as a bum.” It’s not what Niall really truly thinks. He has seriously considered the possibility of failing university, and he just might at the rate he’s going, but there’s no way he’d let himself fall so low as to live in their basement and have to hear them come on each other for the rest of his life. Niall sighs and closes his eyes again, sore from squinting despite his sunglasses.

“Hey shove off it. You’re the smartest guy I know here.” Harry tries. Niall’s aware that he’s moving to lay down now and Niall feels him shift beside him on the grass. He focuses to keep his breathing steady.

Processing what Harry said, Niall can only scoff. He only found out the other day that Winnie the Poohs beloved pal Eeyore is named so because it’s a play on the sound donkeys make. Like, six year olds know that and he didn’t. Theo could give him a run for his money. 

“Okay, maybe not _the_ smartest. But you are the most proficient reader I know, without a doubt. And I hear that’s useful to literature students.” Niall feels a sharp pain at his side, thinks maybe an ants bitten him, before he turns his head to look at Harry and sees a cheeky look plastered on the lad’s face.

Niall pinches him back. If it’s only because he jumps at every excuse to touch Harry, Niall won’t admit it.

For some reason it makes Harry smile and Niall smiles back subconsciously. It’s reflex to smile at Harry whenever he’s honoured with that grin. Feels like he doesn’t deserve it now, though, just feels like shit now. He goes through everything he was meant to do today in his mind and it makes him feel a little sick. Niall really should be studying.

He can feel his face slowly falling and turns his head away from Harry to look up at the sky. He must look serious because Harry’s gently nudging his arm by his side with his own elbow.

“Hey,” his voice is suddenly much softer. It pulls Niall’s attention back to Harry’s face. It feels very intimate suddenly; their faces so close together. Niall focuses really hard to refrain from staring at Harry’s lips.

“You’re a smart cookie. You should know I’d never leave you to live with those idiots forever. You can be my bum!” Harry finishes cheerily, like he’s generally pleased with that prospect. Niall wouldn’t much mind it either if he’s honest. He knows that Harry’s just being nice though, just being his sweet self; Harry being Harry. It’s what causes Niall’s heart to ache a little more.

The sincerity of the moment is ruined, however Niall’s still appreciative of Harry’s attempts at serious. It wasn’t exactly where he thought Harry was going, but essentially it made Niall feel better. Niall never can quite tell what Harry’s thinking and what’s going to come out of his mouth next. Right now though, Harry seemed quite chuffed with himself for making Niall look less sad and Niall thinks that’s better than anything he could have predicted.

“Yeah righto. Think you just want me so you’d have someone to try all those god awful kale recipes you come up with. You’re as bad as the other lot.” Niall goes for jokingly, trying to distract himself from his non platonic thoughts.

In response, Harry rolls his eyes exaggeratedly but says nothing to deny Niall’s claims and it makes Niall chuckle.

“Speaking of, now that I’ve successfully saved your day, I best be off,” Harry starts as he sits up, leaning back on his palms spread flat behind him. Niall feels colder immediately at the loss of Harry’s warm arm pressed against his. “You distracted me on my travels. I only stopped here for ingredients.” Niall shifts his gaze to where Harry’s gesturing over his shoulder and bursts out laughing upon realising Harry’s referring to the parks orchard.

Harry only smirks and pats at Niall’s cheek once Niall’s recovered from his outburst.

“You nutrition students - Kale isn’t the answer to life Harry!” Niall shouts once Harry has walked further into the park and there’s distance between them.

“That’s what you think!” He calls back nonchalantly over his shoulder, twisting around to walk backwards and face Niall again for a moment to blow him a kiss. Once Harry’s out of sight, Niall’s alone again with his thoughts and suddenly that’s too much for Niall. He can’t relax like before. He’s got a million different things going through his head now. 

_Who the bloody hell says ‘righto’, Christ._

-

Disorientated and tired Niall heads back to his building as the sun falls lower in the sky and it gets too dark to see the pages of his book anymore. Walking towards his building, he hopes to god Liam and Louis give it a break for the rest of the night. To his horror, Niall finds in the hours he’d been gone, the building’s elevator has broken down and has a condescending ‘OUT OF ORDER. Just take the stairs you lazy fucks’ sign stuck to the faulty sliding doors.

 _Just what I need_ Niall huffs as he drags himself around the corner to the stairwell. It’s cold and not particularly inviting to use, the walls are covered in cement. He’s glad when he’s climbed his three flights and can see his room’s door down the hallway, leaving the cold behind.

Just meters from his room, his phone buzzes and Niall fishes it out of his jeans pocket. Catching sight of his lit up screen his stomach tenses and he bites his lip to stop a stupid grin emerging on his face. He’s being ridiculous.

Opening his new message, he sees it’s a picture of Harry with a haul of fresh fruit in his arms and a goofy smile on his face. Offhandedly wondering how Harry managed this picture with both his arms preoccupied by melons, Niall reads the text Harry added.

_My children. x_

Niall barks out a quick laugh, glad that no one else is currently in the hallway to notice, before he manages to type out a reply.

 _Pretty sick that you slice and dice your children to eat_ , he types, adding the eyeballs emoji.

Niall’s almost inside his dorm; is reaching for the door handle as Harry’s reply comes through.

_It’s a sacrifice they’re willing to make for me…I think. I hope! Oh god._

Still staring down at his phone, Niall’s opening his door with a shake of his head and a fond chuckle. In hindsight he regrets entering looking too smitten because Louis, to Niall’s knowledge, was still inside.

“Oh you’ve brightened since earlier. Who got into your pants?” and there’s a slight giggle to his words that annoys Niall. He looks up from his phone to see Louis lounging on the couch, almost swallowed up by the insane amount of pillows Liam insists on keeping there.

“Some of us can be happy without sex Louis.” Although it’s true, he can’t help thinking that he definitely would not mind if Harry got into his pants. He doesn’t need to tell Louis that though.

“How? No, more importantly - why?” Louis says cheekily and Niall’s all ready to tell him off for being a prat to him in his own dorm room, when Liam pops his head up from under the pillows.

“Oi, lay off babe,” he says to Louis, “No one will be in your pants later if you’re not nice to Niall.” Niall’s so thankful for his friendship with Liam. Sure he has to endure Louis because of it, but Niall thinks it’s worth it. 

He fell in immediate (platonic) love with Liam when they first met. Niall always thought it would be awkward living with a complete stranger while at uni; spent the whole summer before his first year nervous about it. But on introduction day, Niall made it to his assigned room to find Liam sitting in the middle of the sitting room floor, his bags surrounding him and distracted by his phone. Upon seeing Niall standing uncomfortably in the doorway, Liam strides over and introduced himself, explaining he was waiting for Niall to arrive so they could agree on bed choice.

_“I’d feel terrible if I took the one you’d like just because I got here first, that’s not cool.”_ He’d said.

They’ve been best buddies since that day, he found they bonded a lot those first weeks in the campus gym (Liam’s studying Health and Fitness and always dragged Niall along, which he’s super grateful for now that he’s not a skinny mess of pale limbs anymore). Niall thinks he can deal with Louis’ shitty head if it means he has Liam as a friend.

The pout Louis displays on his face at Liam’s words is so big it looks like it hurts, but it only makes Liam grin before kissing his boyfriend’s forehead.

Niall just rolls his eyes at them and closes the front door to walk across the room and drop down on their beanbag chair they keep in the corner. He brings his phone up to his face to read Harry’s text again when Liam and Louis are distracted with each other and won’t catch him smiling at the screen. He doesn’t think Harry is really expecting a reply, but Niall wants to give one anyway. He doesn’t want to stop texting Harry.

Niall decides to go with a string of random fruit emojis. Once he presses send, his bladder calls to attention and he realises he really needs to go to the bathroom. Getting up and leaving his phone on the beanbag, Niall walks to the door to get to their shared bathroom just at the end of the hall.

“Oi bud, we were thinking of ordering pizza for dinner. You want in?” Liam calls out to him just as his hand meets the door knob.

“Yeah, sounds good. Just get what toppings you guys want, I don’t mind much.” Niall replies as he swings the door open and leaves the room for the loo.

Niall is not worried that he hasn’t got a reply from Harry when he gets back, feeling much more comfortable now that his bladder’s empty. He checks his phone as soon as he’s sprawled out in his seat again but there’s only a notification from Facebook and a few snapchats from Willie.

Liam rings in for the pizza, Louis leaves for a bit, only to return 15 minutes later with an usb that’s filled with torrented movies. They stick it in the TV once their pizza arrives and end up illegally watching Jurassic World while they eat.

That’s pretty much how the rest of the night goes. Niall checks his phone subtly every now and then, and if he’s disappointed every time to see that Harry still hadn’t replied, then that’s his business and no one elses.

-

The next few days, Niall is not himself. He’s off his game. He’s stressed and tired and hates love and is in love all at once. He kinda feels bad whenever he snaps at Liam for leaving crisps all over their dorm floor again or when he purposely ignores Louis’ texts asking if he’s keen for a game of footy, but then he remembers they get to be in love, and hold hands and cuddle and stay up with each other all night talking and his bitterness gets the better of him. 

The only thing that gets him through his days are texts from Harry. It’s not like Niall and Harry never text, it’s just the amount of conversations they have has definitely increased this past week (and Harry hasn’t left him hanging since the fruit convo). He thinks Harry can sense how tense Niall is right now and has, for some unknown reason, decided to make it his job to text Niall the most irrelevant, random things all day to take his mind off things (namely those dang Bronte Sisters).

So far, Harry’s texted at 2am asking Niall if he knows the muffin man, they’ve gotten into a heated debate on which was really Beyoncé’s best era while Niall was meant to be listening to a lecture, and his camera roll is dangerously close to full storage after he’s saved a number of new photos of Harry pulling dumb faces and posing with inanimate objects. He received nothing from Harry last night though, as his mum was in town and they went for dinner. Niall was left to write his eight page essay on Victorian literature without any Pluto fun facts from Harry ( _It is so a planet Niall - Demoting Pluto is mucho unfair. x_ ).

Eventually, Niall starts to feel more like himself. He’s more optimistic, even apologies to Liam and Louis for acting bratty. His better mood doesn’t seem to stop Harry and Niall’s stream of constant text messages at all hours of the day though.

-

He can hear the arrogant beeping of his alarm clock slowly creeping into his dreams and he hates himself for going to university. How is he expected to stay up late to do work and wake up early for class and still be a good mood? He didn’t even finish his paper either.

He’s got a face full of Louis and Liam snogging from the moment he opens his eyes and Niall can already tell it’s going to be another crappy day. He just groans loudly and hits the off button on his alarm to hide back under his covers. His attempts at ignoring the day are ruined five minutes later when he feels a weight hit his leg, and another a second later on his back. There’s a thump on the floor and more weights fall on him. Niall pokes his head out from under his sheets at the disturbance to see Louis now standing right in front of his bed throwing Liam’s extensive range of pillows at him. Behind Louis, Liam’s laughing and throwing the odd pillow too. That betraying bastard.

When they’ve settled down, after Niall’s wide awake and Louis’ declaring himself as the Lord of the Pillows, the three of them lay together on the floor staring up at their chipped ceiling.

“What you got planned for today sunshine?” Louis asks Niall in the silence. Well, he assumes Louis’ asking him, he doesn’t turn his head to look at Niall or anything, but Niall thinks he already knows Liam’s plans so. It only reminds Niall of his crap day ahead though and he grunts.

“Got a 9am lecture, have to meet up with Andy for our group project after and I reckon I’ll spend the rest of the day in the library. Gotta finish that damn paper.” Shit, Niall’s life really sucks right now.

“Boring,” Louis drags out, like Niall doesn’t already know. “After your lecture it’ll take you like, what? An hour or two with Andy? Then you have the rest of the day free.” Niall doesn’t know where he’s going with this, but Louis is always up to something.

“Not free Louis – studying to do.” Niall reprimands, he’s not letting Louis drag him into any bullshit today.

“Nah mate, you’ve been reading your arse off. I feel sorry for the little thing,” and Louis takes that opportunity to smack Niall’s bum lightly. “I’ve got a better idea. We should have a lads afternoon. You know us three, Zayn and Harry.” At the mention of Harry’s name, Niall’s heart rate speeds up a little. Niall doesn’t miss the way the corners of Louis’ lips quirk up slightly, almost knowing. “We haven’t done that in a while” he finishes with.

“Yeah and I wonder why, s’not like any of us can even spend longer than half an hour with you two before you’re sucking face.”

“Niall my boy, it sounds like you’re jealous. Should I be worried?” Louis asks dramatically, clutching his heart with his hand. “My two best buds, betraying me and running off together to live in the hills, start a life together and penetrate each other every nigh-“

“Shut the hell up wanker!” The squawk Louis lets out after Niall’s smacked him on the thigh is very satisfying. “Never a good reason to say penetrate, god sake’s especially when you’re talking ‘bout me and Liam.” Niall just can’t help but shiver, he loves Liam he does, but not like that and Niall feels uncomfortable at the thought.

“Good. This stud is all mine.” Louis says and Niall turns away so he doesn’t see them kiss all lovingly. Louis’ back to harassing Niall a moment later though and he’s positively beaming when Liam pitches in.

“C’mon mate. I think it’ll be a good time. Haven’t seen Zayn in ages, and I’m sure Harry will be happy to see you.” Liam appeals.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Niall asks. Liam only shares a look with Louis, both their eyes wide, like they’ve been caught in a very criminating act, which really doesn’t encourage Niall into agreeing to hang out. They seem to contain whatever they’re thinking as Liam continues to answer Niall.

“Just, you know, he’s always up for some fun and seeing everybody. And, like, you seemed sort of down in the dumps last night. Moping around everywhere again… I didn’t notice your phone buzzing as much.”

Niall’s eyeing them carefully. Liam’s answer was a bit shaky and he doesn’t directly look Niall in the eye. Louis on the other hand, is staring at Niall head on, not even blinking. It’s all very weird, Niall doesn’t like why his friends are acting so strange all of a sudden. But he thinks if agreeing to this lads night will stop it, then he’s in, even if he really shouldn’t because he still has readings from Beowulf to do.

“Do I need to beg? Cause I got no dignity and you know I will. Please Niall?” Louis lets out in a sing-song voice when Niall still hasn’t responded. “We miss you.” Liam adds on.

“I literally live right bloody next to you, just turn your head every once in a while. But if it’ll stop you whining, I’ll come.” Niall sighs deeply, like he’s really being burdened when secretly he’s thankful for the break from studying.

“Hooray, we wore him down Li!” Louis cheers before the two unceremoniously high five in front of him. “Liam you’re in charge of getting in touch with Zayn, I’ll handle Harry, should probably be getting back to mine anyway. I’ve already turned these undies inside out.” Yeah, Niall didn’t really need the image of Louis’ dirty pants in his mind but as Louis begins to stand up, leaving an empty space where he was in between Niall and Liam, Niall feels a shift in the air he doesn’t like. 

Louis is a major crap bag, but he’s always over and Niall’s begrudging learned to love his crap, so it feels weird when he’s not here. The thought that that’s how Harry may feel a lot of the time hits him, seeing as his roommate is basically living here and Niall’s stomach churns because he never wants Harry to feel bad.

“We’ll text details and stuff later,” Louis says, seeing himself out and Niall automatically feels less like shit knowing Harry won’t be lonely soon. “Catch you later sweet cheeks, you too Liam” he adds, finally leaving with a wink at Niall over his shoulder.

Niall’s left alone with Liam once again, and they stare over at each other in silence before they burst out laughing at their friend’s antics. It feels good to laugh with Liam, he thinks he hasn’t done it in far too long and Niall’s suddenly very much looking forward to this afternoon because yeah, he’s missed Liam too.

After they’ve both calmed down, Liam reaches for his phone on his bed. His eyebrows furrow on his forehead once his lock screen lights up. “Uh bud, what time did you say your lecture was this morning?” Liam asks.

“About nine, why?” Niall replies absently, he wishes he didn’t have any classes today but he really needs the help; is hoping he can catch Mr Bridges after to ask him a few questions about his essay.

“Well, because it’s twelve past nine now.” Liam speaks up, with a worrying look on his face and Niall is shooting up off the floor.

“Fuck, shit, fuck!” Niall gets out in between his efforts to change from his pyjamas into actual clothes you can be seen in public in. Any other day, he might have just thought _fuck it, I’m already late_ and not gone but exams are so soon and he can’t afford to miss anything. He’s grabbing his backpack, stealing a few mints from Liam’s desk because he doesn’t have time to get down to the bathrooms and brush his teeth, and is out the door with a hurried smile and a “See you soon” to Liam.

Making it to the end of the corridor, Niall is met with the still broken elevator. Swearing louder as he runs down the cold, hard stairs makes him feel slightly better. Niall’s day is not turning out anything like he’d planned.

-

Six hours and a text of _‘Lads night is a go!! Have your arses ready to be kicked in Fifa by yours truly at mine and Harry’s place – 3 PM’_ from Louis later, they’re all squished into the sitting room of Louis and Harry’s residence.

Niall likes their dorm, always has from the first time he visited he thinks. There’s just something about it, a nice welcoming vibe his place totally lacks. It might be the cluster of pot plants, of all different herbs and spices lining the room that Harry manages to keep healthy all year round. It could be the collection of sick playlists they have that are always playing from the stereo system; either softly loitering in the background of a bustling room, or drowning out a complete silence. 

Niall likes the way the place always smells like a treat, and he enjoys that he never knows whether it’s the result of another of Harry’s recipes or lingering from a scented candle lit not too long ago. Niall likes the way, hilariously, none of the furniture Harry and Louis have accumulated matches whatsoever, and Niall likes the way he feels when he’s here and experiences all these things. 

When he thinks about it, Niall can’t understand why Louis chooses to spend more of his time at his sodding place rather than here at his own. He’d kill for a place like this, or maybe he’d just kill for this place. It probably wouldn’t be the same if it weren’t for Louis and Harry. Loud swearing pulls him out of his thoughts.

“Fuck, you’ve got to be kidding. Did you do something to this controller?” Niall’s eyes adjust from his daydreaming and glance over to see Zayn shake around his Xbox controller before he eyes Louis indignantly. The two of them are sitting on the floor, three feet in front of the small couch where Niall’s sitting next to Liam. Harry’s spread out on the kid’s SpongeBob Squarepants fold out lounge they have beside Zayn and Louis, who are still going at it.

“It’s a damn joke. You’ve definitely done something!” Zayn is practically shouting at Louis now. They’d all sat down and played a game of Fifa each when they met this afternoon. Louis managed to evade every one of the boys and beat them in every game and by the end, Zayn was yelling treachery. Louis was appalled and they’d gotten into a wrestle before they agreed to settle it with a game of Mario Kart, which is what they were playing, up until a minute ago just before Louis, once again, received the flashing words of WINNER light up on his side of the screen.

“Really pumpkin, you shouldn’t blame all your losses on the deceit of other people. It’s hurtful.” Louis’ teases, grinning madly, but he doesn’t duck quick enough to evade the shoe Zayn hurls at him and it wipes the smile right off his face.

“That is horribly rude,” Louis gasps. “I’m your host, not your punching bag! How would you like it if I threw shit at _you_.” Of course Louis isn’t expecting an answer, as he accompanies his last word with a flying textbook aimed at Zayn’s face. Niall just rolls his eyes as the two get into a fierce throwing match, too familiar with this behaviour from Zayn and Louis when they get together. He thinks he’s still too sober to handle it though, and stands up to retrieve another beer from the case on Louis’ desk.

In the bedroom, clutching a new (now lukewarm) beer, Niall finds himself distracted by something on the ceiling of Harry’s side of the room. He’s squinting as he takes two steps forward to see better, when he realises they’re pages and pages of notes, all in Harry’s handwriting, stuck to the ceiling above the head of Harry’s bed. 

For some reason, Niall finds it incredibly endearing and his heart starts beating a little faster. Seeing all of Harry’s exam notes written out in different bright colours, important words underlined and in capitals, all stuck above the bed for Harry to read and remember whenever he’s lying down. And then his brain turns against him and Niall starts to think of all the other things Harry might do in that bed, what _Harry and Niall_ might do in that bed together.

He knows it’s never going to happen, but he gives in and lets himself dream about it for a fleeting moment. A slap to his bottom startles him and he actually jumps in his spot. Only then does he realise how strange he must’ve looked standing silently and daydreaming in the middle of an empty bedroom. He looks over his shoulder quickly, hoping to redeem himself of looking like a creep only to be faced with a giggling Harry, not fazed at all by what he walked into.

“Gotcha. Have you been working out? That cheek felt a lot more toned than usual.” Harry muses and Niall knows is the thing, he knows Harry’s only teasing but a shiver still runs down his spine because Harry could feel his clenched arse from his dirty thoughts. The dirty thoughts Niall was having about him. The thought does something to him and he subtly takes a deep breath through his nose to relax his body. Once he can feel himself calming down some, he does what he always does and laughs at Harry being ridiculous. That’s what Harry expects anyway.

Turning around to face Harry, who’s now leaning on the opposite wall behind him, Niall’s body tenses up again immediately. Harry’s taken to growing his hair out longer this term, a very different look to when the pair first met and Harry sported an (extremely hot) curly up do. The new length still gets to him as much as his shorter hair used to, but what Niall especially likes is when Harry chooses to tie it up in a bun. Like right now. It just frames his face so nicely, and all Niall can think about is Harry’s perfectly sculpted jaw and how much he wants to bite it.

“No money or time for that mate, I’m a student remember. Reckon I have our ridiculously cheap dorm building to thank for never getting ‘round to fixing our elevators.” Niall spills out and he’s very proud of his quick thinking. It’s somewhat true anyway; he’s had to climb that cold, grimy staircase for a while now without any indication that the lift is actually being repaired. The only change he’s seen is the addition of a rather large penis drawn on the out of order sign (obviously somebody expressing their annoyance) that Niall was quite happy to see.

“Ah, the woes of going to university,” is what Harry says in reply, seemingly accepting of Niall’s excuse and acting none the wiser. “At least we still get lukewarm beer and student discounts at Selfridges!” Harry continues, proclaiming his words with a raise of another fresh beer that he swipes from Louis’ desk quickly.

Niall raises his beer as well to meet Harry in a cheers and Niall adores the beaming smile that finds its way on Harry’s face when their bottles connect. Over the clinking of their bottles, they hear a loud, high-pitched shriek that can only be from Louis, probably getting his arse kicked by Zayn, but Harry’s eyes stay glued to Niall. Eventually, Niall lets his arm fall back down to his side and he watches Harry look away and turn his head towards the door for a moment, before he’s looking at Niall again almost with a conflicted look on his face this time.

Sighing, Harry’s face finally falls and Niall can see a flash of disappointment in his eyes. He finds that very strange seeing as Harry was so bright and happy a minute before, but he puts it down to disappointment of Louis’ hosting skills. Harry likes to treat everyone who comes over kindly, as a ‘welcomed guest’. Although Harry’s sweet-natured self makes Niall’s heart race, Louis doesn’t completely feel the same and treats people how he thinks they deserve in his _‘own dorm thank you very much’_. That must be it, there’s no other reason Harry would be looking so sad right now.

“We better rally the herd before it gets out of hand.” Harry mumbles and as fast as his face fell, it’s brightened again with a chuckle at their friends. Niall can tell that it’s only half-hearted but he doesn’t say as much. He figures if something was wrong, Harry would confide in Niall; that’s what they do (Niall doesn’t always love that they do though, always found it particularly difficult to listen to stories of crushes and ex boyfriends without his blood boiling).

It bothers Niall that Harry still looks a bit off, so on their way out of the bedroom he throws a light-hearted arm around Harry’s shoulders and gives his arm a rub. The fond face Niall receives in return makes it harder for Niall to unwrap himself from Harry when they reach the living room.

-

The boys manage to control Zayn and Louis from their throwing fiasco; not without injury Niall might add, (he’ll have a nice bruise in the morning from the apple hurdled at his thigh) and soon after they all bundled together on the floor for a few games of slapjack. It’s been one of their favourites ever since they saw the game on an episode of Fallon’s The Tonight Show (it’s basically blackjack, except the winner gets to slap the losers in the face). 

The rest of the afternoon goes by quickly, a blur of beers, drunken Irish dancing and bad tutor impressions. Niall’s enjoying himself with his buds too much to notice the time. He thinks Liam and Louis might have been right to schedule this lads meet up as his stomach physically hurts from laughing and he can’t remember the last time it has. Out of nowhere, it’s eight o’clock at night and Liam’s yawning.

“Not giving up on us yet Payno, are ya?” Niall teases as soon as he sees the yawn slip from Liam’s mouth.

“Ugh, I had prac all morning that really took me out. Mrs Scott is a machine on the barbells!” Liam explains. “And I have an appointment with a client super early tomorrow morning, should be calling it a night soon.” Liam’s words lead the group to settle slowly, and only an hour later Liam’s yawning is uncontrollable, which prompts Louis to call their most recent game of slapjack to an end.

“We better get you home to bed babe.” Niall hears Louis mumble to his boyfriend, all too ready to pack up and leave the group despite his wide, awake eyes. It’s clear Louis’ not as tired, but he’s still adamant he should take Liam home when Niall whines (which really, isn’t like Louis at all).

“Well I’m not going home yet! How ‘bout a few at the pub boys?” Niall asks, shifting his eyes to Zayn and Harry who are lying on their stomachs across from him. He’s really not tired yet is the thing, and he can sleep in tomorrow, he’s got no classes until the afternoon. He’s somewhat resentful towards Louis right now, because this was his idea and Niall agreed against his better judgement, but now he wants to piss off too early while Niall is still buzzing. He hopes the other boys don’t bail on him as well; gives his best puppy dog eyes in case they were thinking to.

“I mean, I probably shouldn’t. Don’t really like the idea of throwing up in class tomorrow” is what Harry says and Niall gets a weird feeling in his gut, like something heavy just dropped inside him. He might have been hoping Harry would agree the most, but he’d never say that out loud with all the other boys around.

“No Harry, come ‘on man. You should stay with the lads, can’t let our Niall down.” Niall turns his head towards Liam quickly at the sound of his voice. There’s a look in his eyes Niall just can’t put a finger on that only seems suspicious when Niall glances to his left and notices Louis nodding along, agreeing.

Harry looks slightly taken aback by the abruptness of Liam and Louis, who are now shamelessly staring at him and Niall can see him fumbling for something to say under their scrutiny. It doesn’t make Niall feel good, no matter how badly he wants to spend more time with Harry, so he cuts in.

“Nah, you’re probably onto something there Harold. I’ll regret my idiotic drunken self in the morning. But it’s too late for me now, save yourself while you can.” He says with an easy smile to Harry, and a glare to lover boys. It seems to shut them up, neither of them spilling anything else out and Harry looks thankful for Niall.

“Well, if anyone cares, I’m feeling the pub.” Zayn speaks into the brief silence that’s fallen around them and Niall feels terrible for actually forgetting he was there. It’s those darn green eyes, Niall thinks. Nonetheless, he smiles brightly and reaches over to slap Zayn on the shoulder.

“Good man! Knew I could always count on ya.” Niall cheers, excited about the prospect of getting more drunk with a best mate. Five minutes later, the boys have all disbanded after their round of goodnights and goodbyes (Niall was so tempted to nuzzle his face into Harry’s collarbone when they hugged, just like always; with alcohol running through his veins, he was almost brave enough to go through with it this time, except before he could the door was whipped open and a gust of cold air hit him, making him jump and let go) and even though the sight of Harry shutting the door on them made Niall ache, he’s still giggling with Zayn in the hallway as they head to their bar of choice.

-

Niall loves Zayn. And it’s funny because he thinks, in a proper world, they shouldn’t get on. They shouldn’t be such great friends because they are inexplicably different. When Niall first met Zayn, it was by complete accident. It was during the first week of uni, when Niall still had trouble making his way around campus; not accustomed to every long winded hallway yet. He’d mistakenly ended up in Liberal Arts 101 without knowing it and happened to get into a nice conversation with the only other person in the room before class started. Of course that’d turned out to be Zayn, and only once the room was full and the professor had begun did Niall realise his mistake. He ended up staying for the entire lesson, considering it too embarrassing to up and leave three minutes into class. An hour and a half later it was over and Niall felt like such a twat, grumbling to himself as he packed his things away.

“Daydreaming were ya? S’alright, you can borrow my notes.” Niall had heard and remembered that Zayn guy sat next to him, completely forgetting he was there in the midst of his humiliation.

Niall realised Zayn was referring to the open empty page of his notebook and Niall decided then and there Zayn was someone he felt like he could tell, even though he’d just met him. With a sigh, Niall spilled his whole predicament with the shitty campus map and actually being an English lit student, which resulted with an amused laugh and a suggestion of drinks at the bar down the street on Zayn’s end. 

They’d hung out that whole afternoon. He’d introduced Zayn and the other lads sometime during the next week, and they’ve been somewhat of a group ever since. He doesn’t know if they would’ve been friends if Niall hadn’t walked into the wrong class that day, their lives on campus so different they probably would have never met, but Niall’s always so thankful he did read the map wrong that day when he’s spending time with Zayn like this.

“Oi oi Irish, that’s another 5 pound you owe me! Get in!” He hears Zayn shout.

They got to the pub not long after they left the other boys, around quarter past nine. They’ve smashed down more pints than probably necessary and really shouldn’t be playing darts right now, especially since Niall keeps losing and has to fork out another fiver, but Niall doesn’t care; is just so glad Zayn came out with him because Niall’s on a massive high, even if it does feel like a part of him is kinda missing.

-

It’s late when they finally leave. Zayn’s completely out of it so Niall takes it upon himself to drink a couple of glasses of water before they leave to make sure they get home safe. It’s only a ten minute walk back to campus, but it takes them less than five with the way Zayn’s insisting on running and skipping all the way back. When Niall finally gets Zayn to his dorm, in his bed (with an apology to his roommate for waking him) all safe and sound, making sure he’s still breathing fine with the way he passes out as soon as his head reaches the pillow, he sees the bright red '2:26 am' displayed on Zayn’s alarm clock.

Christ, is that all? Niall had thought it was much later, was hoping it was so he could easily pull an all-nighter; not thinking he could get to sleep in the state he’s in. He closes the door to Zayn’s dorm behind him as he makes his way out into the empty corridor. There’s really no one else around, and it sucks because Niall is still buzzing. Feels like he’s been building up this energy for weeks with all the studying he’s been doing; locking himself away from the world. And now that he’s here, standing in an empty dorm building, tipsy, at two in the morning, he’s not ready to be done.

In the silence, Niall hears the distinctive grumble of his stomach and he notices how hungry he is. It was easy to not notice before, but now he’s alone, all he can think about is a big, greasy burger. Every where’s probably shut by now, nothing really stays open until late on a Wednesday night, and Niall doesn’t trust himself to venture out far on his own either, so he presses the down button on Zayn’s building’s elevator and decides to make his way to his building’s kitchen area. There’s gotta be some good food there he could just…borrow.

-

Niall’s surprised alright when he gets to his building, but so not disappointed. He couldn’t have expected the scene he walked into, but he thinks it’s so much better than his plan of eating alone, chowing down week old leftovers from the fridge.

Niall had whiffed the delicious smells on his way into the dormitory, but just put it down to his hunger making him delirious in his drunken state. It only made him scramble faster towards the kitchen, his legs dragging him along like they had a mind of their own. Too excited with the prospect of food; Niall stumbled and tripped as he was making his way through the kitchen doors and to his complete surprise (he’d only recount surprise if you asked, no way would he tell you how it also nearly caused him to shit his pants from fright) he’d heard a chuckle above him. 

It takes all of three seconds for Niall to regain his balance and jump up to see just who he’s got to avoid eye contact with in the halls for the rest of the year to avoid further embarrassment, when Niall makes eye contact with the only other person in the room and his breath catches. Niall blames how out of sorts his body is right now that he didn’t recognise the laugh. The beautiful sound he dreams of being pressed up against his neck, followed by sweet kisses to his collarbone. Harry still has the remnants of his laugh on his face, a beautiful bright smile blinding Niall at such a dark time of the night.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Harry hums; no trace of annoyance on his face at Niall’s unexpected arrival, and Niall smiles back at him really big.

“I’ve got a few pounds in my pocket! I’ll pay you for whatever is making that smell.” Niall sighs, closing his eyes to breathe it in more. It’s really overpowering now, his whole nose just filled with a warm, cinnamon-y smell. It sends a shiver down his spine.

“Oh which? Do you mean these?” Harry replies, before a tray of what looks like freshly baked muffins are thrusted into Niall’s eyesight. Niall isn’t even embarrassed at the groan that escapes his mouth. It’s like, not what he was aiming for, but at the same time, like, exactly what he needs. He’s never thought a muffin to look so appetising.

“Think you’re drooling a little there.” He hears Harry again, someplace in the back of his mind forcing Niall to focus back on him and Niall wipes at his mouth when he notices the amusement on Harry’s face; clearly not joking about the drool.

“Just like, pub’s not the best place for a sit down meal, you know. ’M really hungry.” Niall rattles off as he glides past Harry, who’s leaning against the middle island, and makes his way to the fridges lined on the opposite wall. He tries to hide the desperation in his voice for one of those muffins as he’s peeking into one of the fridges (there’s fuck all inside, and Josh has stuck post-it notes with his name all over everything remotely good again). As he’s staring longingly into the fridge, focused on an out-of-date tub of yoghurt but thinking of a moist, gooey hand-made-by-Harry muffin, he hears Harry tsk behind him.

“C’mon then,” he says, motioning Niall over to him with a wave of his head. “It’s not like I’d let you eat anything that’s still in there anyway. Hasn’t been cleaned out for months.” Harry pulls a disgusted face and pretends to shiver for emphasis. Niall falls more in love with Harry as he basically glides over to where Harry’s now sitting down on the dining table, placing the plate of muffins in the middle.

Niall’s first bite is heavenly. It’s like he’s been living in a drought for weeks, always too dry and hot and uncomfortable, and rain has just started to pour down outside his window, satisfying him to no end. He beams across at Harry with a mouth full of muffin and Harry tilts his head to the side, looking back at him with the corners of his mouth forming into a slow smile, dimples on full display.

“S’good?” Harry asks as he finally reaches for his own muffin. Niall’s already moved onto his second after scoffing the first, wanting the sweet taste to linger in his mouth for as long as possible.

“Mmm thank you.” Niall dreamily sighs around the treat he’s still stuffing into his mouth. Harry doesn’t seem fazed, doesn’t pull another disgusted face like before, and just watches Niall with his eyes shining, obviously happy to see someone appreciate his food.

Niall realises by his fourth helping that he should slow down. They’re not the largest muffins he’s ever seen, could definitely eat plenty more, but the plate is emptying fast and Niall thinks Harry probably made these with other purposes in mind than Niall selfishly munching them down.

When he swallows the last bite of his fourth muffin and doesn’t reach for another quickly, Harry gets up to fetch him a glass of milk. Harry lets him know that it’s from a carton he personally bought himself, as if Niall’s sceptical about its quality, when truth is he trusts anything Harry hands to him. Nonetheless, Niall sends Harry a grateful look when he comes back around with the drink in hand and sets it in front of Niall.

“So what flavour are these? Is it some kind of special recipe you created again? I can definitely taste cinnamon.” Niall asks, only now wondering. He aches to grab another one from the plate.

“Kinda. It has got cinnamon, but I didn’t make the recipe, found it online. They’re cinnamon and banana maple muffins. You like ‘em?” Niall looks up at Harry incredulously; he thought he’d already established that when he scoffed down the four biggest there were. But when he sees Harry’s face, it looks like he’s trying really hard to look nonchalant, and Niall’s heart quickens the slightest bit.

“Yeah, course I did. Hope you weren’t saving them for something else.” Niall tells him, pointing at the empty looking plate of left-over muffins.

“Nah, don’t worry. I’m glad you like them, ‘cause I did actually change the recipe around just a little…” Harry’s given up on appearing calm, a shit eating grin is now taking over his face.

“Ugh, knowing you they’re probably gluten and preservative or summat free.” Niall’s doesn’t really care if they are if they still taste like that, to be honest. It’s probably the best muffin he’s had in years. And he’s not being bias just because the love of his life made them.

Harry fake scoffs at Niall’s allegations, and places one hand over his heart “Who do you think I am Horan? Of course they are silly. But that’s not exactly what I meant.” And okay, maybe Niall’s a little worried if the sparkle in Harry’s eyes and impossible smirk on his face is anything to go by.

Once Harry confesses to Niall that he’d added a healthy serving of corn to the batter mixture, Niall really doesn’t know what to do with himself. He thinks Harry’s quite proud in this moment, and in all honesty so is Niall. He really couldn’t taste it at all. Niall thinks Harry is expecting him to act shocked and appalled though, so he plays along.

“Harry, man! You know how I feel about eating healthy. I much prefer greasy crap” is what Niall goes with.

“Just doing my duty Niall, expecting a letter from Mr. Cameron any day now really. Helping to minimise the obesity epidemic and all that.” Harry proudly says back.

“Oi are you callin’ me fat?” He knows Harry isn’t, Harry would never say that, to anyone; being the gentle, kind person he is. But Niall likes to stir shit and play with Harry.

Harry only looks away, eyes scattering over the empty room as he whistles unsubtly. He focuses back on Niall though when Niall reaches over the table to punch him playfully on the arm and ah, Niall loves that. He loves when Harry looks at him while he laughs wholeheartedly, his mouth wide open and his smile on full display for Niall to appreciate.

“Rude.” Niall mumbles, even as he reaches for another muffin. It’s been at least five minutes since he had his last, and despite Harry’s revealed secret ingredient, he’s craving for another one. He eats this one more carefully this time. Takes his first bite slowly, chewing contently, and brings the muffin back up to eye level. If Niall had eaten his others like this, he would’ve noticed the corn mixed in, pieces standing out from where he’s bit into it, a lot sooner.

Harry’s quiet, just watching Niall again with that glint in his eyes so Niall speaks up once he’s swallowed his mouthful.

“How come you’re down here anyway? Didn’t expect to see you again tonight.” He ends up saying. Even though it’s the truth, Niall had wished for the complete opposite; always wanting to just see Harry and Harry’s face and smile and dimples - especially when he’s had a bit too much and is tipsy.

Harry looks around the room again, but this time with a thoughtful look on his face. “It’s just easy. It’s the only time the kitchen’s really empty and I can just, like, make whatever I want I guess.” He pauses to look back at Niall before he continues. “And I like the quiet, it’s peaceful. Gives me time to think.” Harry’s eyes are directly locked with Niall’s now and his voice is soft, like he’s only just realised it’s early morning and the whole building around them is trying to sleep.

His eyes are still burning into Niall’s and Niall couldn’t give a crap about everyone else in the building suddenly. Everything feels slowed down, neither of them looking away from the other and it feels like there’s only the two of them and their plate of cinnamon and banana maple (with corn) muffins left in the world.

“Hmm. Don’t know if I’d cope with that. My brains too full with Beowulf, quiet makes me go mad these days.” Niall confesses, never once looking away from Harry’s eyes, feeling a pull to them that makes him want to tell Harry everything.

“Nothing wrong with being mad. I think the best people are.” Harry says, leaning forward slightly on the table so he’s resting on his elbows, chin cupped in his hands. Niall tries his hardest to stop a heavy blush lighting up on his face and down his chest, he really shouldn’t be blushing. He tries to subtly swallow because suddenly his mouth is very dry.

All Niall can think to do is hum in reply. His mind is a jumbled mess and all he can get from it is _HarryHarryHarry_. He suddenly remembers the half eaten muffin still in his left hand and promptly takes a bite to break their eye contact and regain some sense.

When he’s happy with his breathing again, he swallows his mouthful and looks back up across the table. It doesn’t look like Harry’s moved and Niall watches him blink a few times when they lock eyes again.

“You’ve got um – some er,” Harry speaks up, gesturing to Niall’s face and Niall’s eyes widen in embarrassment when he understands. He quickly wipes at his mouth to get rid of any lingering crumbs. “Gone?” he asks Harry after, doing his best to act cool and not show how mortified he really feels.

“No - it’s actually just – um,” Niall’s heart speeds up as he watches Harry shift his weight onto one elbow and reach across the table with his other arm, directly towards Niall’s face. Harry stops mid-air before he reaches Niall, eyebrows raised as if in question and Niall slowly nods, watching Harry’s hand come even closer.

Harry’s thumb is soft as he brushes at Niall’s face, above his top lip, almost at the base of his nose. Niall makes eyes contact briefly with Harry when he seems satisfied he’s got all of it, but Niall quickly looks down at his lap because they’re so close and Niall could see the specks of yellow in Harry’s eyes that he loves so much.

“There. Don’t know how you managed to get it on your nose.” Despite his teasing tone, Harry’s face looks very serious when Niall finds the strength to look back up. His eyes are sort of glazed, and he isn’t looking anywhere but at Niall.

Niall tries his best smile and shrugs, that’s when he notices Harry’s hand now resting on his cheek, and it’s so warm and comforting that Niall really struggles not to lean into it. “Only me huh?” he says quite breathlessly, and Niall hopes Harry doesn’t notice the way he’s really struggling to maintain steady breaths.

“Yeah, only you.” Harry whispers oh so quietly, softly, and if they weren’t so close in this moment Niall thinks he probably wouldn’t have heard him. Niall doesn’t know what to say so it’s silent between them for a second and Niall thinks he’s dreaming when he notices Harry’s eyes flicker down to his mouth. He thinks he’s really seeing things when Harry bites his lip before he catches Niall’s eyes again.

And then Niall can’t believe what’s happening. Harry’s closed the small distance hanging between them and is moving his lips against Niall’s softly, so softly and god Harry is actually kissing him. Niall can see Harry’s face still, his eyes gently shut to focus on kissing Niall and Niall quickly closes his eyes too, not registering to before now because of how in shock he was, and goes about kissing Harry back just as gently.

Harry’s lips are unsurprisingly soft and smooth against his, and they slide together what Niall thinks is perfectly. It’s not too fast or deep, just delicate kisses on lips and Niall can’t think of another time he was ever so happy during a first kiss. Niall’s so lost in it all - lost in Harry that he tries to chase Harry’s lips when he pulls away finally. Niall doesn’t want it to be over, thinks he could kiss Harry’s pink lips and never get tired of it for the rest of his life.

Niall hears a breathy laugh in front of him as he’s still searching for Harry’s lips and it makes him open his eyes. Harry is smiling at him so big and he looks so happy, but Niall can see the little hint of worry in his eyes, like Niall’s going to tell him off for kissing him and reject him. Niall doesn’t see how he could possibly think that if the way he was leaning in to Harry while they were snogging, never wanting to separate, is anything to go by.

Harry doesn’t seem like he’s going to say anything, looks like he’s waiting on Niall; wanting to see his reaction, but Niall’s lost for words. Now that he’s not completely distracted by Harry’s lips his brain is starting to work again and he just cannot comprehend what just happened.

Still, Harry stays silent and waits for Niall so he manages a stunned ‘um’.

“Oh. I’m – I’m sorry.” Harry mumbles after Niall and Niall has never felt like such a turd in his whole life because no that’s not what he meant and his heart absolutely breaks because Harry now looks so disappointed, a deep frown replacing his beaming smile.

“No! I didn’t mean it like that! I just…can’t believe -“ He rushes out, Niall can’t bare to see Harry look so broken. Especially since he has no reason to be. He just never thought Harry would ever kiss him.

At watching the stumbling mess that is Niall, Harry seems to get it and a wide smile returns to his face. His eyes are twinkling now; all the worry held in them now disappeared.

“What? That I’d fall for my best friend?” Harry asks and Niall has never nearly choked on thin air but, today it seems, is just full of firsts.

“You - I – ” Is all Niall fares as he attempts to get his breathing back in order. Harry actually just looks amused now, gazing at Niall as he bites his lip to prevent a laugh spilling out.

“I mean, that’s usually how it works isn’t it?” And Niall would be somewhat annoyed with how chuffed Harry looks if it was anyone but Harry. He’s got this crazy smirk like he’s got some hidden secret while Niall is just struggling to keep up with everything; keep up with Harry just admitting he likes him.

“Never really thought I was being too subtle either. Don’t reckon I’d have a two hour long conversation with Lou about different brands of water tasting differently. I just always want to talk with you and be around you Niall, I like you.” Harry admits; the amused smirk on his face slowly falling, replaced with a fond look and he’s radiating warmth, making Niall warm too.

Niall definitely has a better grip on their conversation now, but can only say what he’s thinking over and over again. Only one word swimming in his mind.

“Shit.”

“Can I kiss you some more?” Harry asks, and it’s so polite that it makes Niall blush. Nonetheless, Niall can’t think of anything he wants more in this moment so he nods his head enthusiastically. When he tries to speak however, his voice is hushed and shaky as he watches Harry lean in again. “Okay”.

When their lips meet for a second time, Niall’s ready. He reaches up to pull Harry closer to him by the back of his neck and lets out a content sigh as Harry catches his bottom lip in his teeth. He loves the feeling of Harrys hands that reach up to gently hold his face while they kiss, when suddenly a thought pops into Niall’s mind and he promptly pulls them apart.

Harry looks confused at first, his eyebrows all scrunched up and Niall finds it so endearing it’s scary, but then Niall starts to speak.

“I just – I like you too. Really _really_ a lot” And Niall had to say it. Couldn’t believe he hadn’t up until now after all this time pining after Harry.

At that, Harry smiles the widest Niall’s seen tonight. He feels it as Harry presses his lips against Niall’s again and breathes him in. “Okay” he whispers into his mouth, echoing Niall, their lips brushing and Niall clings to it. He clings to Harry; like he’ll slip away any moment like this is all some kind of dream. But when Harry begins to kiss him more deeply, when he slides his tongue against Niall’s lips asking for entrance, Niall reckons it’s the most alive he’s ever felt.

-

They decide to pack up and move to Harry’s room once things start getting too heavy for a communal uni dining hall. They’re quiet the whole way up, just sharing shy smiles every now and then. Niall doesn’t even mind that they have to climb four flights of stairs. He feels brilliant, and his mood only gets better when he feels Harry slip his hand into his by his side. Niall entangles their fingers properly, gives a squeeze, and they walk together like that. Hand in hand all the way to Harry’s dorm.

Niall watches Harry fumble with his keys, and he reaches up to guide Harry’s hand gently so the key fits into the lock right. It’s so simple, but Harry turns to look at Niall and his face is so full of admiration that Niall suddenly vividly remembers the first moment he knew he was in love with Harry.

In Harry’s room, Niall doesn’t feel like he always does. He doesn’t smell Harry’s herbs or hear Louis’ music, all he can feel is Harry standing a few metres in front of him. It must be silent; it has to be at this time of night, but it doesn’t make Niall feel uncomfortable because he can hear the loud thumping of his heart. Harry looks a bit nervous now, so Niall strides forwards and closes the distance between them, kissing Harry deep and slow and like he’s in love. Harry looks much more comfortable when they pull apart and he giggles when a line of saliva breaks between them. 

That’s what they spend the rest of the early hours of the morning doing. They’re lots of kisses and soft gentle touches and Niall’s sure he’s going to have to wear a turtleneck to class tomorrow, but he’s fine with it if it means Harry’s mouth all over him.

A few hours later, somewhere around half past five in the morning, Niall almost falls asleep while he’s kissing Harry. He’s just so comfortable and warm and relaxed and kissing Harry makes him feel safe. The few he had to drink also can’t be helping. Niall takes Harry’s not offended though by the way he slows down their kiss and rubs his thumb against Niall’s cheek soothingly. He’s got this goofy smile on his face when they separate and huffs out a laugh when he watches Niall struggle to keep his eyes open looking back at him.

“Big spoon or little spoon?” Harry asks, running his fingers through Niall’s hair and scratching at his scalp. At the feeling, Niall basically purrs. He needs to remember to tell Harry to do that all the time when he’s more conscious.

“Big spoon.” Niall can’t say it fast enough, because if there’s anything he’s ever wanted for so long, it’s to just hold Harry.

“Mmm, I was hoping you’d say that.” It’s the first night they fall asleep holding each other tight, but wow the way it feels his arms were made for holding Harry, Niall hopes it’s not the last.

-

Niall wakes up to an empty bed. 

At first, he doesn’t think it unusual because of course he woke up to any empty bed, but then he remembers the night before and dread starts to seep inside him. He runs his hand all over the mattress, hoping Harry’s just a little far away having rolled over in their sleep, but he feels nothing. Niall convinces himself he’s not going to get worried yet, Harry might not have woken up, completed regretted everything and run away. No, Niall’s just being paranoid. Harry definitely said he liked him. With a sigh, Niall opens his eyes and sits up, and in a heartbeat he’s laughing at himself for being an idiot when he spots a cinnamon and banana maple (with corn of course) muffin on a napkin and a note on Harry’s bedside table.

He reaches for the note first, smiles fondly at Harry’s handwriting and reads

_Sorry I’m not there :( Had stupid class this morning. How stupid is that? Don’t they know the cute boy I like is sleeping in my bed just waiting for me to kiss? So stupid._

_The last muffin is yours as apology. Hope it’s as good as last night xx._

Noticing the time on the clock to be quarter past nine, Niall hums and decides it’s a great time to relax and enjoy a muffin.

-

He sticks around until ten thirty in the hopes Harry will come back soon. He doesn’t though, so once Niall’s finished his muffin and spent a good amount of time snuggled up in Harry’s bed breathing in the musky smell of Harry’s sheets, he decides he better get back to his dorm and shower before his own classes that afternoon.

He didn’t think it would, but it actually hurts to leave Harry’s dorm. Like he’s saying goodbye to the best night of his life so far, and he has to remind himself that there should be many more to come. He’s giddy at the thought, and he’s giddy all the way to his room. Practically skips his way over.

He notices the elevator is finally working again, but he walks right past it to the stairs. Thinks it’s funny as he starts to climb the flights, that for weeks he’s groaned and sighed and complained about the broken elevator and made people feel sorry for him, but now he’s got so much energy he feels like he could burst with it. He never really did like the cramped space of the elevator anyway.

-

He’s not surprised when Liam’s there when he gets in, he’s panting slightly now from his efforts on the stairs. Louis’ nowhere to be found for once and Niall assumes he’s gone to a class. His lack of breathe doesn’t even keep the big smile off his face and Liam’s on him straight away once he looks up from his notes to greet him.

“I don’t want to sound like Lou, but what’s got you such a happy chappie?” he asks, Niall can’t help but glance down to Liam’s papers and notice a lot of scribbles and angry crossing out. Poor sweet Liam, Niall always feels bad when he sees him struggling with his work. When he looks back up, there isn’t any sign of frustration on Liam’s face though, just care and Niall loves that he’s got such wonderful friends.

“Just- happy to see you mate.” Niall says with a cheesy smile, looking Liam straight in the eyes so he won’t pry further but he must see right through Niall because Liam tsks.

“Give it a rest with that sappy stuff and tell me the truth huh?” Liam counters as he puts down his pen to give Niall his full attention. Niall can see he isn’t going to let up now, and he’s really too happy to worry about telling people (because he doesn’t know if they’re telling people) and it’s _Liam_ so he bites his lip to keep his smile from splitting his face and sits down on their bean bag.

“It’s Harry” is all Niall says. He can’t get him out of his mind and just saying his name makes him feel good.

Liam hums for Niall to go on. “What about Harry?”

“Well. I like Harry, I – yeah. I like him and, god I don’t know why I’ve never told you. You’re me best mate and you ‘know that’s stuff best mates talk about right? But it’s just like, I guess I thought if I told you, you’d maybe go off and tell Louis and c’mon we all know about Louis’ big mouth and I didn’t want him to tell Harry because then it would have been a disaster and –“ Niall’s mouth can’t seem to work as fast as his brain and he’s babbling now but he’s just held everything in for so long and it feels so good to get it all out.

Niall takes a deep breath and looks up at Liam, this whole time having been playing with his fingernails “And I really, really like him. Have for so long actually. But I didn’t think he liked me. Until last night er, this morning. Shit, it feels like longer, but I ran into him again when I got back from the bar and we talked for a while and there were muffins and, he kissed me.”

Liam doesn’t say a word when Niall finally finishes talking, just stares at Niall. Not a threatening stare, which Niall is very happy about frankly, but he can’t read him; can’t figure out what he’s thinking. Maybe he’s angry at Niall for never telling him that he liked Harry, and now this is the cold shoulder.

“Liam I’m really sorry for never telling you. I never told anyone though, I didn’t want to ruin anything. You’re still my best frie-“

Niall’s cut off when Liam starts to laugh, like a proper belly laugh. Niall could not be more confused.

“Mate, don’t worry about the whole best friend thing yeah? I know I still got the top slot. It’s not that, it’s just, I wasn’t ready. I’ve been waiting to see when you’d tell me but I didn’t think, like, now – I know Niall.”

Scratch that; Niall definitely could not be more confused _now._

“Pardon?” Niall asks and it hurts to say because suddenly his throat has closed up.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to sound rude, it’s just – there’s a reason I’ve got the top slot Niall. I know you and I know when you’re mad for somebody.”

Niall groans “How long?”

“Hm, about a week after you met.” Liam replies; an amused grin lacing his face.

Niall groans louder. He’s been such an idiot for so long. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew? I could have whinged to you about his pretty eyes and lips and his stupid fluffy hair and awful jokes.” Niall misses Harry more than ever now. He loves Liam, and he does have nice brown eyes yes, but nowhere near as pretty as Harry’s; not like the way Harry’s eyes are pretty. Catching Liam’s raised eyebrows and amused look, Niall blushes.

Liam huffs a laugh quickly, and he’s gotten rid of his grin to look at Niall softly.

“Figured you’d tell me when you were ready.” He says and Niall promises himself that he’ll offer to help Liam with his study for being such a great friend.

They smile at each other for a brief moment before Liam speaks up again, almost hesitantly.

“I was getting a little impatient but. I mean Harry told Louis, not that I was jealous…”

“Sorry, Harry what?” Niall butts in.

“Oh, Harry told Louis he liked you. Ages ago. Don’t think he really meant to, probably for the same reason you didn’t tell me either, but I think he was a little tipsy at the time.”

“He actually cried for the whole next day when he realised, because he thought Lou would tell you and you’d reject him and you wouldn’t be friends anymore. So Louis promised not to say anything, except to me obviously and when we found out that we both knew, we decided to work together. Been trying to get you two oblivious heads to get together for ages now.”

Niall’s trying to say something, but his mouth is just opening and closing like a fish; can’t get a grip on anything he wants to say.

“C’mon Ni, leaving a lads night at nine?” Liam asks.

“You said you had a client early!” Niall retorts, voice a little high pitched because that’s a perfectly acceptable explanation and that’s what Liam said. He might sound like a stubborn child but he doesn’t care.

Liam just gives him a look, the look and Niall promptly drops his head in his hands.

“I’m really happy for you Niall. You two are great together.” Niall hears above him and his body loosens; the tenseness in his shoulders gone.

“Yeah?” Niall whispers, leaning forward in his bean bag. Liam's words warms his heart. He never thought he’d need or want anybody else’s acceptance of his own relationships, but ever since he met Liam, his friendship has meant the world to Niall and all he ever wants to do is make Liam proud of him because he makes Niall proud every day. 

Liam just nods with a sincere smile on his face and Niall knows he is genuinely happy for him. He also knows his best friend is the best of them all. 

“He has got a pretty nice mouth hasn’t he?”

“Oi!”

-

The next month is one of the most happiest of Niall’s life. Exams are mostly over, his ma came down to visit for a few days, and he gets to hold his new boyfriend’s hand whenever he wants.

All the boys have agreed to another lads night tonight after they were all bombarded with a series of Facebook notifications from Louis shouting at them to meet up, followed by some of Liam apologising for him.

His dorm starts to feel a lot more homely, so Niall suggests meeting there. He thinks it may have something to do with the three scented candles that now sit proudly on his desk, or the pages of notes (and some age appropriate drawings) in both Harry and his’ handwriting that are stuck to his own ceiling, _or_ maybe it’s the boy who’s always over. He also thinks he now knows why he preferred Louis and Harry’s dorm to his own before. That’s changed; he loves his room now.

There’s loads of banter, Niall’s stocked up the mini fridge with beer and Louis forces them all to watch the new episode of Big Brother that’s running on TV. Niall doesn’t mind what they get up to though because he has Harry right beside him the whole night. He can’t stop stealing kisses like he physically cannot be without Harry’s lips for too long, and Harry runs his fingers through Niall’s hair the way he likes when Liam and Louis get into a game of beer pong.

At about half past twelve, Louis pipes up about some new club he heard just opening in town and suggests they check it out. Liam and Zayn are both up for it, but Harry and he only share a look before they decline.

“Oooh right – gonna head in for the night huh? Hit the sack eh?” Louis snickers, ever since Niall and Harry officially told the guys they were dating, Louis’ loved to tease them at every corner. Not that all the boys aren’t ridiculously happy and supportive of them. Zayn will deny it whenever anyone brings it up, but Niall and the other lads swear a tear rolled down his cheek when Harry had announced himself as Niall’s boyfriend one afternoon before drinks.

Niall only rolls his eyes when a wolf whistle comes from Zayn and he sees Liam wink at Harry in the corner of his eye.

“Yeah alright – cyas later. Don’t get too piss drunk. Liam I trust you to take care of these slobs.” Niall says as he stands, holding Harry’s hand in his, moving them towards the door. He grabs for the handle and looks back over his shoulder to see Liam give him a salute.

They shut the door on a _bow chicka wow wow_ from Louis and instead of heading to Harry’s dorm like the boys all thought, they make their way downstairs to the kitchen. They have to wait a bit for a few late night snackers to empty out but soon they’re alone together again.

Harry pulls him in by the waist for a long, deep kiss and Niall is in bliss. When they pull apart after a few minutes Harry squeezes where he’s still holding Niall’s hips and sighs happily. Niall gives a quick peck to his nose and untangles himself from Harry to walk over to the island bench.

“What do ya think tonight?” He asks Harry, leaning his elbows back on the bench so he’s still facing Harry.

“Think I’m ready to perfect that macaroon recipe.” Harry replies, matching the slow pace of his walk towards Niall in his voice.

“Are you just saying that ‘cause I love macaroons?” Niall asks, standing up straight now that Harry’s right in front of him.

“Yes. Because _I_ love you” Harry croons, reaching up to hold Niall’s face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs in slow, soft circles because he knows it drives Niall wild.

It makes Niall shiver. There’s no way to describe how good he feels when Harry says those words. There’s really no way to describe how good he feels whenever he’s with Harry these days. It’s everything he’s ever wanted since he met Harry second term. It’s like the rain streaming down outside his window has never stopped, not another drought in sight. Niall closes his eyes and groans.

“Say it again.”

Harry laughs fondly and runs his hands down Niall’s sides lovingly until they reach his bottom. He leans in and hovers his lips over Niall’s but doesn’t let them touch. Niall feels the gentle squeeze Harry gives to his arse with both hands and Niall opens his eyes to see Harry smiling big, then he’s kissing his forehead and giving a gentle tap to his bottom, sending him to the fridge requesting eggs (from the good carton, hidden at the back he and Harry regularly buy now specially for these nights together).

Niall’s more than happy to oblige, they’ve fallen into an unspoken rhythm over the past four weeks. Niall’s in charge of collecting all the ingredients while Harry cooks and bakes and sautés mushrooms or whatever they feel like. It’s their thing and Niall loves it, he can’t remember the last time he was hungry and horny at 3am.

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks for reading. I really enjoyed writing this. And of course, a massive thank you and congratulations to the administrators of this fic exchange!
> 
> Say [hiya](http://tonightiwannachasecars.tumblr.com)


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